


Girl's Night

by VanyaDidNothingWrong (TerminalMiraculosis)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Humor, Just a fun fluffy thing, they are... they are sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27703213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerminalMiraculosis/pseuds/VanyaDidNothingWrong
Summary: After traveling back to their childhood home only to find that they had been replaced, the Hargreeves crash in a hotel for the night. Vanya and Allison get a room to themselves, and Allison suggests that they use this opportunity to make up for lost time and hold an impromptu sister sleepover.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 5
Kudos: 53





	Girl's Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [snaredrum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/snaredrum/gifts).



> Happy birthday Jett!! Have some Hargreeves sisters fluff

After being bluntly told by their ever-loving father that they were under  _ no _ circumstances allowed to trespass in his prestigious academy, much less stay there, Vanya and her siblings, desperately trying to avoid yet  _ another _ all-out fight, quickly left to go find another place to stay. The other place, as it happened, was some hotel a few blocks away.

They all filed through the revolving door at the entrance, much to the obvious concern of the attendant at the counter. Vanya couldn’t really blame her, of course; Luther was so big he almost couldn’t fit through the door at all, Diego still had his knives on full display, Allison looked like she had just walked out of an annual witch coven meeting, Klaus looked like he belonged at a victorian funeral procession, and Five… well, Five was still wearing the same schoolboy outfit he’d been in when he’d crashed into the backyard in the other future, which was a whole nother thing. Honestly, though, Vanya doubted she looked much better, and the state of them all—bruised, bleeding, and exhausted—couldn’t have helped.

“Can I—” The receptionist paused, gulping. “Can I help you?” 

Luther lumbered up to the desk, nodding and looking a little lost. “Uh, yeah, we need rooms for six people?”

The receptionist smiled professionally. “Alright. Does one queen room and one quad sound alright?”

“Yeah, sounds great,” Luther rumbled.

“That’ll be $317.65,” the receptionist said, tapping at her monitor.

Luther looked over his shoulder at the rest of them, face panicked. “Uhhh.”

“Which, translating for inflation from 1960, would be the equivalent of a bit over two and a half thousand dollars in today’s money,” Five said, smiling condescendingly. “Well, things are just going  _ splendid _ so far.”

“Oh, shut up,” Diego snapped. “At least the damn  _ world _ isn’t ending.”

“Hey, man, don’t jinx it,” Klaus mumbled.

Allison sighed, looking between them and the increasingly concerned-looking receptionist. “I take it we don’t have that much cash on us?”

“I don’t even have my wallet,” Vanya admitted.

Diego shot her a look. “Weren’t you driving?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t think to bring my wallet with me to the FBI building where I was being tortured,” Vanya said. “I’ll try to be more responsible next time, Diego.”

“I—okay, fair.” 

“Well…” Luther let out a breath, looking confused and exasperated. He always looked a little confused, though, so maybe it was just the exasperation. “Ideas?”

Allison rolled her eyes, pushing past her brothers to approach the receptionist. She smiled sweetly at her, leaning with one arm propped against the desk. “Hey! So, funny story, I actually heard a rumor that you let us stay in those rooms for free.”

The receptionist smiled back, opening a drawer under her desk. “Of course! The queen is room 111, and the quad is going to be room 224. Enjoy your stay!”

“Thank you  _ so _ much,” Allison said, taking the room keys from her and tossing one over to Luther. “Alright, boys, see you in the morning. Vanya, you’re with me.”

“Oh—right.” Vanya nodded and hurried after her as she walked out of the lobby.

Luther reached out a hand as they left. “Allison, hold on, are you sure that—”

“Up-up-up!” Allison swiveled on her heel, cutting Luther off with a raised finger and a tight smile. “I said  _ see you in the morning.” _

“Cheers to that, sister,” Klaus said, striding forward and snatching the room key out of Luther’s hand. “I have a hot date with a mattress right about now, and you  _ know _ what they say about keeping a girl waiting.”

“Klaus,  _ please _ be normal,” Five pleaded, stomping away after him. 

Vanya heard Diego say something after that, but she didn’t catch it as she followed Allison down the hall and away from their brothers.

“Hoo!” Allison said, shaking her head. “I swear. I love them, of course, but also I think if I have to listen to one more argument, I might seriously snap.”

Vanya chuckled lightly. “Yeah, no. I’m glad we can get a room to ourselves for the night. I mean, can you imagine those guys trying to share beds? They’re gonna keep themselves up all night complaining.”

Allison snorted. “Exactly. Meanwhile, we can have the girls’ night we deserve.” Her eyes lit up. “Ooh, it’s kind of like a sleepover, isn’t it?”

“I mean…” Vanya shrugged. “I guess?”

“Oh, come on, Vanya!” Allison said, giving her a big smile. “I… know my attempts at sisterly bonding back in the other timeline didn’t go so well, but I think this can be a fresh start! We never had a chance to have a sleepover together when we were kids; just as sisters, you know? So why not start now?”

Vanya let out a breath, then looked up at Allison with a smile. “That… actually sounds really nice.”

* * *

“So…” Vanya flopped down onto the bed next to Allison, feeling cleaner than she had in days after a much-needed shower. She uncapped one of the complementary water bottles, twisting it between her hands. “What are we supposed to actually  _ do  _ during a sleepover?”

“What do you mean?” Allison asked, turning to look over at her.

“Well, I don’t know,” Vanya said, shrugging. “Obviously I’ve never been to one, but the usual sleepover activities don’t really seem appropriate here. We can’t really paint our nails or anything, and I don’t think either of us want to talk about  _ boys.” _

“Yeah, not really,” Allison said with a wry laugh. “Though… Well, actually, there are a few boys we could gossip about if you want. Specifically, our brothers.”

“What, like, make fun of them behind their backs?”

“Exactly.”

Vanya took a sip of her water. “I’m listening.”

They quickly settled on a sort of ‘most likely’ format, taking turns posing questions about which one of their brothers would be the most likely to do or have done whatever ridiculous thing came into their heads. It was nice, Vanya decided, to just lay down and joke around with her sister while they weren’t under threat of an impending apocalypse. 

“Okay,” Allison said. “Who’s most likely to get into a fight with that green cube guy from the Sparrow Academy, and lose?”

“Diego’s most likely to get into a fight,” Vanya said almost immediately. “But I think… Luther would be the most likely to lose? I mean, the cube can fly, and Luther can’t really punch him if he can’t reach him.”

“I’m not sure Diego could beat him either,” Allison said. “He’s awfully proud of those knives of his but they are  _ not _ cutting through metal. I don’t care  _ how _ hard he curves them.”

“He doesn’t  _ have _ to throw knives, though,” Vanya reasoned. “He can throw whatever. There’s gotta be something that would do damage. But…” Vanya hummed. “I’m not sure Diego’s that smart.”

Allison let out a cackle. “Vanya!”

“W-what?” Vanya said, cracking a small smile. “I love him, but, like…”

“No, no, I’m not disagreeing with you,” Allison said, still laughing. “You’re  _ absolutely _ right.”

“Yeah.” Vanya shrugged. “So, since he’s by far the one most likely to actually get into the fight in the first place, and would also probably lose, I think Diego gets that one.”

“Diego it is,” Allison agreed. “Alright; your turn.”

“Hmm… Most likely to cause a car accident,” she said. “But not, like, because it’s a car chase or anything. They’re just going to the store or something. Oh, and Klaus is sober.”

“Ohh, that’s a hard one,” Allison said, pursing her lips. “Luther’s at the bottom for sure, since he’s the only one who actually fears death, I think. Klaus… I feel like Klaus would actually be fine, you know? Now, Diego and Five both suffer from extreme road rage, but out of the two of them, I think Five is, like, infinitely more likely to actually intentionally ram his car into something or someone. So, I’m gonna have to go with Five.”

Vanya nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. Also, it must be hard for his feet to reach the pedals.”

“HA! Honestly,” Allison said, laughter rolling through her. “Okay… most likely to get framed for a crime they didn’t commit.”

“Oh, that’s actually a hard one,” Vanya said. “Hmm… I think it’d have to be Luther, right? I mean, I know Diego literally  _ was _ framed for a crime he didn’t commit that one time, but I think that means he would be extra careful not to let it happen again. And Five… he’s never been arrested for any of the dozens of  _ actual  _ crimes he’s committed. Luther, though—he seems super easy to frame.”

“Really?” Allison quirked a smile. “What makes you say that?”

“Like… I don’t know, something about the image of him trying to defend himself. He’d just keep digging himself into a hole until, like, somehow he’s convinced he did it too, you know? And then he’d start talking about how sorry he is and how he deserves to go to jail or whatever.”

“I…” Allison nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah. Yeah, I can see it. Luther wins.”

“Alright, umm… Who’s the most likely to cause the next apocalypse?” Vanya asked. “I mean, besides me.”

Allison smiled, but shook her head, hitting Vanya lightly on the shoulder. “Hey. Those weren’t your fault.”

“Oh, I—well, it’s arguable, but, yeah, I mean—” Vanya sighed. “Look, just answer the question.”

Allison nodded, letting it go. “Well, Five would be the obvious answer, right? Time and space shenanigans, he’s a wanted criminal in, like, multiple timelines and time periods, he’s very good at pissing people off…”

“I thought so too at first, but I actually think Klaus is a real sleeper pick here.”

“Klaus?” Allison laughed. “Noooo, Klaus would  _ never!” _

Vanya smirked. “You probably would’ve said that about me, too, though, right? But think about it—he manifests the wrong ghosts, his repressed powers start getting out of control, and suddenly we’re, like, fighting a ghost army or something, or he unearths some crazy conspiracy or whatever.”

Allison gave her a skeptical smile. “I don’t know, Vanya.”

“I still think it’s more likely than Five,” she argued. “Yeah, he’s got some crazy powers, and he can be a bit abrasive, but he’s actually very careful with how he uses those powers.”

“Like the time he scattered us throughout the early sixties?”

“I…” Vanya sighed. “So you may have a bit of a point.”

Allison laughed. “If I’m being real, though, it’s a bit of a toss up. I think any of us could probably do it under the right circumstances.”

Vanya shrugged. “Hell, maybe those Sparrows will cause the next one, and it won’t even be on us.”

“Maybe,” Allison said. “I just hope they—”

Whatever Allison was about to say was interrupted by a knock on their door. The two of them immediately shared a suspicious look, and hopped out of the bed. Vanya let Allison stride ahead of her to the door, opening it and stepping back and to the side at the same moment.

“I  _ swear _ those boys have  _ no _ sense of decency,” Klaus said as he waltzed into their room, waving a hand vaguely. “I mean,  _ honestly.” _

Vanya raised an eyebrow. “…Klaus?”

Allison sighed wearily. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, it’s a tragic, tragic story,” Klaus said. “We were deciding who should get which beds, right? And I of course was being perfectly civil, but Five refused to share a bed with Luther, and demanded he get his  _ own _ bed, even though he’s the  _ smallest. _ I mean, honestly! And they all started fighting, and then they turned on poor old Klaus, and demanded that I sleep on the floor! So I decided to seek out my dear sisters as my last source of respite in this ruthless, uncaring family.”

“Don’t you lie to them, Klaus!” Diego demanded suddenly, stomping through the doorway and pointing his finger at his brother.

Allison put a hand to her face. “Oh my god.”

_ “Lie _ to them? To our wonderful siblings?” Klaus gasped, offended. “Why, I never!”

“We were getting along fine until  _ you _ started hogging all the pillows,” Diego snapped.

“Look, guys, can’t we just—” Vanya was interrupted by the sound of Five blinking into the room, and groaned. “Christ…”

“What are you idiots doing?” Five hissed, throwing out a hand. “Do you have any concept of practicality? Of self-preservation? Not  _ only _ did you barge into  _ Allison and Vanya’s _ room like a bunch of frothing shit-brains, but with you gone  _ Luther _ started hogging one of the beds, and now it’s practically  _ inundated _ with his gross Luther-scent! It’s unusable!”

“Now that,” Klaus said, shaking his head slightly, “sounds like a you problem. Diego and I will be just fine sharing a bed, isn’t that right, Diego?”

“Not if you sleep  _ naked  _ we won’t,” Diego accused. “That’s disgusting, Klaus!”

“Excuse you, I sleep  _ half _ naked,” Klaus corrected. “It’s good for my skin. If you can’t handle a little bare chest—”

“Oh my god,” Diego said, spinning around on his heel and throwing his hands up to his face. “This is impossible.”

And then, Luther appeared in the doorway, causing Allison to shoot Vanya another unimpressed look, which she readily returned.

“Oh, there you guys are,” Luther said. He met eyes with Vanya, and gave her an awkward nod of acknowledgement, which she returned with a concerned and pleading look, which he absolutely did not pick up on. (She didn’t know what she had expected, honestly.) “So, um—what are you doing here?”

“Apparently being a ringleader, because you all are a bunch of clowns,” Five said.

“I’m simply concerned about getting stabbed in my sleep,” Klaus said. “Diego sleeps with his knives, you know.”

“But you just said—arg!” Diego scowled, slamming a fist against the wall.

“Hey!” Allison snapped, shooting a finger at him. “No wall punching in our room, mister!”

“Look, guys, it’s not a big deal,” Luther said. “Let’s just head on back.”

“Thank you,” Vanya mumbled.

“Oh, easy for  _ you _ to say, big boy,” Five sneered. “You get to sleep with the  _ only _ sane person here! Meanwhile, I have to deal with a gorilla hogging the blanket all night!”

Luther frowned. “Hey, man, not cool.”

“Yeah, yeah. You know what’s  _ really _ not cool?” Diego shot Luther a dirty look. “Having to deal with  _ Klaus _ and all his—”

“Hey, hey, shh, Diego, shh, calm down,” Klaus said, laying a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “No need to get mad, okay? Just calm down, okay?”

“Klaus, I swear to—”

“HEY!” Vanya shouted. Everyone stopped, turning to her, and suddenly she felt a lot more self conscious. “Um—look. I don’t care if you figure this out, or force Five to sleep in the bathtub, or whatever.”

“Hey,” Five mumbled.

“But can’t you, like, yell about this in your room? It’s a lot of noise, and it’s giving me a headache.”

Luther sighed. “Sorry, Vanya, I don’t know what’s gotten into them.”

“What’s gotten into  _ us?” _ Five scoffed. “Please.”

“Exactly,” Klaus said. “I’m simply trying to—”

“I  _ said,” _ Vanya repeated, narrowing her eyes and letting her chest shine a little, “that this is a lot of  _ noise, _ and it’s giving me a  _ headache.” _

Five’s face twisted into an ‘oh shit’ expression, and with a  _ pop,  _ he was gone. Klaus and Diego both hurried out the room as well, Klaus shooting her and Allison a wave as he left, and Luther cleared his throat, looked like he was about to say something, and then decided against it, following their brothers out the door. 

Allison let out a relieved sigh, shutting the door behind them and locking it. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Allison smiled. “You know, I never knew you could be so cutthroat.”

“Oh, well, um—” Vanya smiled weakly. “If  _ anyone _ knows how cutthroat I can be, it’s, uh, you…”

Allison looked puzzled for a moment, then her eyes widened, and she let out a disbelieving laugh. “Vanya! Oh my  _ god!” _

“Sorry—that, that wasn’t appropriate—”

“No, it was—” Allison’s words got caught on her giggles. “Jeez. We’re really all such complete messes, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” Vanya admitted. “Maybe a little bit.”

Allison, still laughing to herself, walked over and collapsed onto their bed. “Well, I’ll tell you what, I’m all sleepovered out. Wanna just go to bed?”

“Oh, more than anything,” Vanya said, allowing herself a proper smile this time. “Good night, Allison.”

“Good night,” Allison returned, before Vanya flicked off the lights.


End file.
